Exposition: The setting takes place in Heather’s basement. Character’s are: Julia, Emma, Cassie, Heather, Vinny, James, and Jessica.
Main Conflict: Brooke has James as a boyfriend but his ex girlfriend Jessica always gets in the way. Jessica feels she owns James, accusing him he still loves her.
Climax: When Brooke knows James is spending the night at Jessica’s, Brooke goes to Jessica’s house to let out her feelings, Jessica slaps Broke.
Falling Action: Brooke has a bruise on her cheek from the slap. James at first says he rather be with Jessica but says he just blurted that out to make Jessica less angry and was just protecting Brooke. James then chases after Brooke. Brooke feels humiliated and doesn’t believe one word that comes out of James mouth.
Does the character’s conflict get resolved- Yes it does because Brooke realizes she’s better than James and Jessica and stops talking to both of them completely.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
55 words
Fizzle, fizzle, gulp, gulp. The tab and water was gone. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple spinning round and round. Left to right big red noses white faces and small people. You stumble and laugh, but here it’s normal. You feel like an act. Things turn dark and slowly scary, what do you do now?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
another "picture" story
I knew I was full of emotions and full of promises to myself and I also knew they had to be released. It all began when I was a premature teen I’ve always had “a wish list” whistling your time will come, storing itself in the back of my head. I’d thought as time passed I’d replace it with a new desire however that wish was tough to ignore. I’d plan to arrange an unforgettable day to go to the city with my closest friends. Here’s the catch without parents! All the bickering and sadness was worth it because in the end my mom’s approval meant everything. That one day was today and my head couldn’t be higher.
Conflict- How I was arguing with my mom
Climax-Going to the city with my friends
What I want my reader to know is your wishes can come true if you have the determination. What my reader should be asking is why my mom at first wouldn’t let me go to the city.
Conflict- How I was arguing with my mom
Climax-Going to the city with my friends
What I want my reader to know is your wishes can come true if you have the determination. What my reader should be asking is why my mom at first wouldn’t let me go to the city.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
picture story
It was a known belief that something new takes place everyday on Rose Berry lane like if you looked up Rose Berry lane in the dictionary … would appear because new things are happening every day. Rose Berry lane is also significant how you have to drive up a vast hill every time before entering. The new neighbors Cara and Mike have experienced that hill for the first time today. They heard all the gossip about the lane and decided to move in yet they are known for the opposite of being daring. Starting the next day at 7 am they went out to their front porch, did a few stretches and a warm-up jog to get their blood rushing. A minute later they were off on their 40-minute jog around the neighborhood.
It all starts with a quick glance and a nod of the head from Mike to construct Cara to start running down the hill. She stumbles, looses her balance but she catches it and successfully rested on the sidewalk. Cara puts her thumb up proudly signally him its his turn. Mike laughed at Cara but quickly wiped his smile off his face and knew it was time to stay focused. He suddenly felt a strike of anxiety; he felt weak and every possible fear was running through his head. He felt just as a tree does after it gets struck by lightening once stood up tall and powerful but soon turned into a tangling mess. Minute after minute, piece by piece he got himself back to thinking positive thoughts only. As he shook out his body and started to move his feet. A furious car goes zipping up the hill going full speed. BOOM! The car hits Mike, Cara begins to panic, and you could hear her cries from miles away. She frantically dashes up the hill, Cara yells, “ Please tell me you’re okay?” No response. By that time Mike’s blood surrounded his body and his body looked like a mirror that has just been shattered into pieces. Five minutes went by and still no response. Unexpectedly he wiggles his fingers and scarcely opens his eyes and all he saw was light.
It all starts with a quick glance and a nod of the head from Mike to construct Cara to start running down the hill. She stumbles, looses her balance but she catches it and successfully rested on the sidewalk. Cara puts her thumb up proudly signally him its his turn. Mike laughed at Cara but quickly wiped his smile off his face and knew it was time to stay focused. He suddenly felt a strike of anxiety; he felt weak and every possible fear was running through his head. He felt just as a tree does after it gets struck by lightening once stood up tall and powerful but soon turned into a tangling mess. Minute after minute, piece by piece he got himself back to thinking positive thoughts only. As he shook out his body and started to move his feet. A furious car goes zipping up the hill going full speed. BOOM! The car hits Mike, Cara begins to panic, and you could hear her cries from miles away. She frantically dashes up the hill, Cara yells, “ Please tell me you’re okay?” No response. By that time Mike’s blood surrounded his body and his body looked like a mirror that has just been shattered into pieces. Five minutes went by and still no response. Unexpectedly he wiggles his fingers and scarcely opens his eyes and all he saw was light.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
new halloween
There was a long waiting line of people waiting impatiently wanting to enter the spooky haunted house. It was pitch black with the occasional flashing bright lights that would shine on a different group of people each time. A group of high school girls were holding each other’s hands for dear life because a man in a bloody dead person’s costume crept up behind them. Their screams blended in with the ongoing chain saws and the suspicious music being played in the background. There were continuously pretend bugs thrown at the crowd or workers dressed up as ghosts that would lightly brush your shoulder, but since everyone was so tense their screams would become piercing. Their eyes became fogged up from all the smoke machines. It was even hard to see where the drawn faced vivid orange pumpkins were that were lining the path. One girl out of the group stood out, she was the tallest dangling one however she was the leader of them. It was easy to see, the rest of the girls were very cautious and would barely move an itch. Standing by the opening of the haunted house was a worker wearing scary, bold make up who would sneak people in without giving the rest of the crowd a peek As more people went into the haunted house, it created more suspense for the girls that were getting closer and closer. Each girl had a similar facial expression a frown, a nervous look or a girl that was completely covering her face. Time was running out and only a group of people were left in front. Together as one they combined hands and figured one would follow the other. They reached the curtain to the opening of what was secretly the girl’s worst nightmare. As they squeezed each other’s hands tighter and all jerked aimlessly around.
A worker lady ordered, “It’s a policy of ours to go into the haunted house in pairs instead of all of you in a line!” The girls hesitantly did what they were asked. The moment she
Pulled the curtain slightly opened they tip toed into it. Do you remember their faces before entering? Their faces after for sure gave away what they felt about their time through the haunted house!
A worker lady ordered, “It’s a policy of ours to go into the haunted house in pairs instead of all of you in a line!” The girls hesitantly did what they were asked. The moment she
Pulled the curtain slightly opened they tip toed into it. Do you remember their faces before entering? Their faces after for sure gave away what they felt about their time through the haunted house!
Halloween
There was a long waiting line of people waiting impatiently wanting to enter the spooky haunted house. It was pitch black with the occasional flashing bright lights that would shine on a different group of people each time. A group of high school girls were holding each other’s hands for dear life because a man in a bloody dead person’s costume crept up behind them. Their screams blended in with the ongoing chain saws and the suspicious music being played in the background. There were continuously pretend bugs thrown at the crowd or workers dressed up as ghosts that would lightly brush your shoulder, but since everyone was so tense their screams would become louder. Their eyes became fogged up from all the smoke machines. It was even hard to see where the drawn faced vivid orange pumpkins were that were lining the path. One girl out of the group stood out, she was the tallest dangling one however she was the leader of them. It was easy to see, the rest of the girls were very cautious and would barely move an itch unless were told to by the girl that was leading.
Monday, September 22, 2008
september 22
She soon realizes all she needs to do is party before she dies. She asks the person sitting next her, “Do you know what’s going on?” He replies, “We were instructed to party.” As the plane was spinning and starting to head down, she clapped and whistled. Someone on the opposite side of the plane began to sing a happy song out loud. When she heard his voice she gladly stood up and danced along. Many people followed. She knew something was wrong with the way she was acting however she wanted to end her life with a smile on. The ocean was coming closer and closer which made people more excited. People started to shout, “The party doesn’t end here, there’s more partying to be done in the water!” She’s running into the sides of the planes and then falling down. She was chasing the people around, it was taking her mind off of death. The airplane driver soon after announced, “We will be heading the water right now!” Everyone counts to 3 and jumps up as one and when they go to slam their feet back down, they were under water.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
finished narrative
Ring! Ring! Ring! I gradually rolled over to reach my alarm clock and I slammed the off button. The alarm clock never does its job, but my quick glance at my un-packed bags gave me an urge to wake up. I stretched and bounced straight out of bed, not a single stumble. Today was a different day.It was already the last day of July and the following day was August 1st. For the month of August, it has been a tradition for my grandparents to rent out the same apartment in West Hampton. I was in shock that the last month of summer has arrived. Time flies by when your having fun, you know that saying? I never really cared for that saying but this summer symbolized that. However, all I could think about was what I was going to pack for the upcoming weekend. Even though I had the whole day to pack, the moment I woke up I rushed over to my closet. I swung open the door and ignored the ongoing sounds of my hanging beads that hit the door over and over again. All the excitement built up inside of me distracted me. I went to my dresser and picked out my favorite clothes for the next two nights. Then I went into my bathroom and grabbed the basics: my toothbrush, straighter, makeup and face wash. My grandma earlier told me I could bring a friend for the weekend, so I called my good friend Leanne. I invited her and she was thrilled to come. Of course, the next words she spoke were,
“What should I bring to wear?”
I simply replied, “Bathing suits, dresses and pants you know.” The conversation ended with me warning her we might not go till nighttime. I’ve bragged to Leanne many months before how much fun West Hampton will be and I just remember how glad I was that the day was finally here. We arrive, the door opens and I show Leanne around my apartment. It was already dark out, so we decided to go to sleep early and be well rested for the next day.
As most people were eating their lunches, we were just waking up. It was in the afternoon and we were in a hurry to eat and meet my family at the beach. Almost forgetting towels, we made it to the beach thirty minutes later. The sun was shining and our feet were burning in the sand. Also I couldn’t forget how the water was so clean and calm. When the sun disappeared into the clouds, Leanne and I went off by our selves for the night. At this point, there was a full moon hanging high in the sky and bright stars floating around it. We just breathed in the late summer air as we walked back towards the beach. Along the way we tried to jump over the big puddles and avoid getting soaked by the cars that would drive through them. When we arrived to the beach the glowing stars were our only light source. It was different when we were walking along the road; there were cars with their lights on. There were also no people in sight, I was feeling tense and nervous but Leanne reassured me that everything was fine. We took our shoes off and walked bare footed along the beach. As we reached the lifeguard chair and climbed up it, the view that existed made me for a loss of words. We were pretty high up, so we overlooked the entire ocean; it was beautiful how the dark, shadowed ocean looked with the horizon filled with shades of pick, yellow and orange. We would press our backs against the life chair and let our feet hang. When a giant wave was coming, we would watch it crash along the shore, leaving one of a kind rocks and shells. As we were thinking this view couldn’t possibly get any more magnificent, a bold strike of lightening appears over the ocean. Its sounds reminded me of fireworks and its appearance was so powerful. Every time it appeared I just couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Leanne and I felt so lucky, I remember thinking I was having a dream. It was simply something I’ve never seen before. As we just sat there so amazed, I see these shadows walking towards us. The shadows consisted of a big and small one. As I slightly turned around, I realized it was a man and it’s dog. I start panicking to Leanne…
“Leanne there’s someone behind us, I told you I had a bad feeling when we first arrived!”
Leanne answers with authority. “Jackie just stay calm, we will wait till he walks down the beach a little to leave.”
“No way! I’m leaving now!” I didn’t let one second go by; I just jumped off and started walking away with speed.
Leanne whispers…“Jackie wait for me.” When she catches up to me, we started to move our feet faster until we reached the boardwalk. When our feet touched the boardwalk, I caught my breath and felt like someone reached into my body and pulled out all the scared energy out of me. We walked away with big smiles.
“What should I bring to wear?”
I simply replied, “Bathing suits, dresses and pants you know.” The conversation ended with me warning her we might not go till nighttime. I’ve bragged to Leanne many months before how much fun West Hampton will be and I just remember how glad I was that the day was finally here. We arrive, the door opens and I show Leanne around my apartment. It was already dark out, so we decided to go to sleep early and be well rested for the next day.
As most people were eating their lunches, we were just waking up. It was in the afternoon and we were in a hurry to eat and meet my family at the beach. Almost forgetting towels, we made it to the beach thirty minutes later. The sun was shining and our feet were burning in the sand. Also I couldn’t forget how the water was so clean and calm. When the sun disappeared into the clouds, Leanne and I went off by our selves for the night. At this point, there was a full moon hanging high in the sky and bright stars floating around it. We just breathed in the late summer air as we walked back towards the beach. Along the way we tried to jump over the big puddles and avoid getting soaked by the cars that would drive through them. When we arrived to the beach the glowing stars were our only light source. It was different when we were walking along the road; there were cars with their lights on. There were also no people in sight, I was feeling tense and nervous but Leanne reassured me that everything was fine. We took our shoes off and walked bare footed along the beach. As we reached the lifeguard chair and climbed up it, the view that existed made me for a loss of words. We were pretty high up, so we overlooked the entire ocean; it was beautiful how the dark, shadowed ocean looked with the horizon filled with shades of pick, yellow and orange. We would press our backs against the life chair and let our feet hang. When a giant wave was coming, we would watch it crash along the shore, leaving one of a kind rocks and shells. As we were thinking this view couldn’t possibly get any more magnificent, a bold strike of lightening appears over the ocean. Its sounds reminded me of fireworks and its appearance was so powerful. Every time it appeared I just couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Leanne and I felt so lucky, I remember thinking I was having a dream. It was simply something I’ve never seen before. As we just sat there so amazed, I see these shadows walking towards us. The shadows consisted of a big and small one. As I slightly turned around, I realized it was a man and it’s dog. I start panicking to Leanne…
“Leanne there’s someone behind us, I told you I had a bad feeling when we first arrived!”
Leanne answers with authority. “Jackie just stay calm, we will wait till he walks down the beach a little to leave.”
“No way! I’m leaving now!” I didn’t let one second go by; I just jumped off and started walking away with speed.
Leanne whispers…“Jackie wait for me.” When she catches up to me, we started to move our feet faster until we reached the boardwalk. When our feet touched the boardwalk, I caught my breath and felt like someone reached into my body and pulled out all the scared energy out of me. We walked away with big smiles.
new narrative
Ring! Ring! Ring! I gradually rolled over to reach my alarm clock and I slammed the off button. The alarm clock never does its job, but my quick glance at my un-packed bags gave me an urge to wake up. I stretched and bounced straight out of bed, not a single stumble. Today was a different day.
It was already the last day of July and the following day was August 1st. For the month of August, it has been a tradition for my grandparents to rent out the same apartment in West Hampton. I was in shock that the last month of summer has arrived. Time flies by when your having fun, you know that saying? I never really cared for that saying but this summer was an excellent example of that. However all I could think about was what I was going to pack for the upcoming weekend in West Hampton. Even though I had the whole day to pack, the moment I woke up I rushed over to my closet. I swung open the door and ignored the ongoing sounds of my hanging beads that hit the door over and over again. Those sounds would normally irritate me but all the excitement built up inside of me distracted me. I went to my dresser and picked out clothes for the next two nights. Then I went into my bathroom and grabbed the basics: my toothbrush, straighter, makeup and face wash. My grandma earlier told me I could bring a friend for the weekend, so I called my friend Leanne. I invited her and she was thrilled to come. Of course, the next words she spoke were, “What should I bring to wear?” I simply replied, “Bathing suits, dresses and pants you know.” The conversation ended with when I said ill call her when my grandma and I are on our way to get her. I’ve bragged to Leanne many months before how much fun West Hampton will be and I just remember how glad I was that the day was finally here. The next morning at 7:00 am, we picked up Leanne and then we were on our way to our destination, West Hampton. We arrive, the door opens and I quickly show Leanne our room. The next morning I read the note my grandma left on the kitchen table out loud to Leanne, “Honey I left for a run, there’s bagels in the refrigerator.” My stomach makes a familiar noise singling i'm hungry. Since we woke up around 11 am, we were in a hurry to eat quickly and meet my family that were already down at the beach. Almost forgetting towels, we made it to the beach 30 minutes later. The sun was shining, our feet were burning in the sand and the waves were calm and clean. Leanne and I went off by our selves for the night. We followed the curvy roads to town where we grabbed a bite to eat. Leanne and I couldn’t make up our minds, to stay in town or walk on the beach. It was a mystery to even the both of us of which one we would end up doing. The mystery was over; we decided to walk to the beach. At this point, there was a full moon hanging high in the sky and stars floating around. It was late at night and past my curfew. We just breathed in the late summer air and tried to jump over the big puddles along the way. When we arrived to the beach, it was so dark besides the few glowing stars. It was different when we were walking along the road; there were at least cars with their lights on driving by. There were also no people around, I was feeling tense and a little nervous but Leanne comforted me and reassured me that everything was fine. We then climbed up the lifeguard chair and the view that existed made me for a lost of words besides “wow!” We were pretty high up so we overlooked the whole ocean, it was just beautiful how the dark, shadowed ocean looked with the horizon filled with shades of pick, yellow and orange. We would sit back and predict when a big wave was coming and watch it crash along the shore, leaving one of a kind rocks and shells on the beach. As we were thinking this view couldn’t possibly get any more magnificent, a bold strike of lightening appears over the ocean. Its sounds reminded me of fireworks and its appearance was so powerful. Every time it appeared I just couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Leanne and I felt so lucky, I remember thinking this all wasn’t real. As we just sat there so amazed, I see this long shadow walking towards us. I start panicking to Leanne…“Leanne there’s someone behind us, I told you something like this was going to happen, I had a bad feeling when we first arrived!”Leanne answers with authority. “Jackie just stay calm we will wait till he walks down the beach a little to leave.”“No way! I’m leaving now!”I didn’t let one second go by; I just jumped off and started walking away quickly. Leanne whispers…“Jackie wait for me.”When she catches up to me, we started to move our feet faster until we reached the boardwalk. When our feet touched the boardwalk, I caught my breath and felt like someone reached into my body and pulled out all the scared energy away from me. We walked away with big smiles.
It was already the last day of July and the following day was August 1st. For the month of August, it has been a tradition for my grandparents to rent out the same apartment in West Hampton. I was in shock that the last month of summer has arrived. Time flies by when your having fun, you know that saying? I never really cared for that saying but this summer was an excellent example of that. However all I could think about was what I was going to pack for the upcoming weekend in West Hampton. Even though I had the whole day to pack, the moment I woke up I rushed over to my closet. I swung open the door and ignored the ongoing sounds of my hanging beads that hit the door over and over again. Those sounds would normally irritate me but all the excitement built up inside of me distracted me. I went to my dresser and picked out clothes for the next two nights. Then I went into my bathroom and grabbed the basics: my toothbrush, straighter, makeup and face wash. My grandma earlier told me I could bring a friend for the weekend, so I called my friend Leanne. I invited her and she was thrilled to come. Of course, the next words she spoke were, “What should I bring to wear?” I simply replied, “Bathing suits, dresses and pants you know.” The conversation ended with when I said ill call her when my grandma and I are on our way to get her. I’ve bragged to Leanne many months before how much fun West Hampton will be and I just remember how glad I was that the day was finally here. The next morning at 7:00 am, we picked up Leanne and then we were on our way to our destination, West Hampton. We arrive, the door opens and I quickly show Leanne our room. The next morning I read the note my grandma left on the kitchen table out loud to Leanne, “Honey I left for a run, there’s bagels in the refrigerator.” My stomach makes a familiar noise singling i'm hungry. Since we woke up around 11 am, we were in a hurry to eat quickly and meet my family that were already down at the beach. Almost forgetting towels, we made it to the beach 30 minutes later. The sun was shining, our feet were burning in the sand and the waves were calm and clean. Leanne and I went off by our selves for the night. We followed the curvy roads to town where we grabbed a bite to eat. Leanne and I couldn’t make up our minds, to stay in town or walk on the beach. It was a mystery to even the both of us of which one we would end up doing. The mystery was over; we decided to walk to the beach. At this point, there was a full moon hanging high in the sky and stars floating around. It was late at night and past my curfew. We just breathed in the late summer air and tried to jump over the big puddles along the way. When we arrived to the beach, it was so dark besides the few glowing stars. It was different when we were walking along the road; there were at least cars with their lights on driving by. There were also no people around, I was feeling tense and a little nervous but Leanne comforted me and reassured me that everything was fine. We then climbed up the lifeguard chair and the view that existed made me for a lost of words besides “wow!” We were pretty high up so we overlooked the whole ocean, it was just beautiful how the dark, shadowed ocean looked with the horizon filled with shades of pick, yellow and orange. We would sit back and predict when a big wave was coming and watch it crash along the shore, leaving one of a kind rocks and shells on the beach. As we were thinking this view couldn’t possibly get any more magnificent, a bold strike of lightening appears over the ocean. Its sounds reminded me of fireworks and its appearance was so powerful. Every time it appeared I just couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Leanne and I felt so lucky, I remember thinking this all wasn’t real. As we just sat there so amazed, I see this long shadow walking towards us. I start panicking to Leanne…“Leanne there’s someone behind us, I told you something like this was going to happen, I had a bad feeling when we first arrived!”Leanne answers with authority. “Jackie just stay calm we will wait till he walks down the beach a little to leave.”“No way! I’m leaving now!”I didn’t let one second go by; I just jumped off and started walking away quickly. Leanne whispers…“Jackie wait for me.”When she catches up to me, we started to move our feet faster until we reached the boardwalk. When our feet touched the boardwalk, I caught my breath and felt like someone reached into my body and pulled out all the scared energy away from me. We walked away with big smiles.
Friday, September 12, 2008
NARRATIVE
Jackie Wilde
Mrs.Baione-Doda
Creative Writing
12,Septmeber 2008
Narrative Story
Ring! Ring! Ring! I gradually rolled over to reach my alarm clock and I slammed the off button. The alarm clock never does its job, but my quick glance at my un-packed bags gave me an urge to wake up. I stretched and bounced straight out of bed, not a single stumble. Today was a different day.It was already the last day of July and the following day was August 1st. For the month of August, it has been a tradition for my grandparents to rent out the same apartment in West Hampton. I was in shock that the last month of summer has arrived. Time flies by when your having fun, you know that saying? I never really cared for that saying but this summer was an excellent example of that. However all I could think about was what I was going to pack for the upcoming weekend in West Hampton. Even though I had the whole day to pack, the moment I woke up I rushed over to my closet. I swung open the door and ignored the ongoing sounds of my hanging beads that hit the door over and over again. Those sounds would normally irritate me but all the excitement built up inside of me distracted me. I went to my dresser and picked out clothes for the next two nights. Then I went into my bathroom and grabbed the basics: my toothbrush, straighter, makeup and face wash. My grandma earlier told me I could bring a friend for the weekend, so I called my friend Leanne. I invited her and she was thrilled to come.Of course, the next words she spoke were, “What should I bring to wear?”I simply replied, “Bathing suits, dresses and pants you know.”The conversation ended with when I said ill call her when my grandma and I are on our way to get her. I’ve bragged to Leanne many months before how much fun West Hampton will be and I just remember how glad I was that the day was finally here.The next morning at 7:00 am, we will pick up Leanne and then we will be going on our 45-minute road trip to our destination, West Hampton. When we arrive, we will carry our bags up to apartment number 82 where the key is laying under the mat. Every year I look forward to seeing our apartment, even though I know it’s the same one every time. It’s just the feeling I get knowing more memories will be created here. The door opens and I quickly show Leanne our room, we chuck our luggage, throw on our bathing suits and we rush to the beach. Since we woke up early, it was perfect we just rolled out our beach towels, read magazines and naped. When dinnertime arrived, we crossed the street back over to the apartment where we took showers and got ready to go eat in town. Margarita grill is a quick and tasty restaurant so Leanne, my grandma and I ate our food there. While eating our tacos, my grandma shared a frightening lightening and thundering story. She went on describing how there was a bad storm one day and these two teenager boys were under a tree and they were struck by lightening and were terribly injured. My grandma purposely shared with us that story because she heard there was a possible storm happening that night. Now that dinner was out of the way, Leanne and I were craving to meet new people. We were hopeful, just wishing for a good time because we know about the storm. Unfortunately the possible storm was definite. There was frowns on our faces, so we ended up heading back to the apartment early. We refused to end the night like that, so we thought we might as well have a good time with the rain. In the parking lot of my apartment, we danced with the rain! We kicked and jumped in the puddles, shouted and sang a lot and then called it a night. I read the note my grandma left on the kitchen table out loud to Leanne, “Honey I left for a run, there’s bagels in the refrigerator.” My stomach makes a familiar noise singling i'm hungry. Since we woke up around 11 am, we were in a hurry to eat quick and meet my family that were already down at the beach. Almost forgetting towels, we made it to the beach 30 minutes later. The sun was shining, our feet were burning in the sand and the waves were calm and clean. For these reasons, it made Leanne and I really want to float around in the water for hours. So we did just that for as long as we could. As time passed, the sun went down and it was time to rinse off our sandy bodies in the shower. When we were all showered and dressed up, Leanne and I went off by our selves for the night. We followed the curvy roads to town where we grabbed a bite to eat. Next as the bands in the side streets played their music, we walked around with big widened eyes looking for people to meet. At least the bands and the shops entertained us for a few hours because we had no luck with meeting new people. We would walk back and forth seeing the same people, just wishing to see new faces however realizing that wasn’t happening tonight. Leanne and I couldn’t make up our minds, to stay in town and wait longer or walk on the beach and take pictures. It was a mystery to even the both of us of which one we would end up doing.The mystery was over; we decided to walk to the beach. At this point, there was a full moon hanging high in the sky and stars floating around. It was late at night and past my curfew. We just breathed in the late summer air and tried to jump over the big puddles along the way. When we arrived to the beach, it was so dark besides the few glowing stars. It was different when we were walking along the road; there were at least cars with their lights on driving by. There were also no people around, I was feeling tense and a little nervous but Leanne comforted me and reassured me that everything was fine. We then climbed up the lifeguard chair and the view that existed made me for a lost of words besides “wow!” We were pretty high up so we overlooked the whole ocean, it was just beautiful how the dark, shadowed ocean looked with the horizon filled with shades of pick, yellow and orange. We would sit back and predict when a big wave was coming and watch it crash along the shore, leaving one of a kind rocks and shells on the beach. As we were thinking this view couldn’t possibly get any more magnificent, a bold strike of lightening appears over the ocean. Its sounds reminded me of fireworks and its appearance was so powerful. Every time it appeared I just couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Leanne and I felt so lucky, I remember thinking this all wasn’t real. As we just sat there so amazed, I see this long shadow walking towards us. I start panicking to Leanne…
“Leanne there’s someone behind us, I told you something like this was going to happen, I had a bad feeling when we first arrived!”
Leanne answers with authority. “Jackie just stay calm we will wait till he walks down the beach a little to leave.”
“No way! I’m leaving now!”
I didn’t let one second go by; I just jumped off and started walking away quickly. Leanne whispers…
“Jackie wait for me.”
When she catches up to me, we started to move our feet faster until we reached the boardwalk. When our feet touched the boardwalk, I caught my breath and felt like someone reached into my body and pulled out all the scared energy away from me. We walked away with big smiles.
Mrs.Baione-Doda
Creative Writing
12,Septmeber 2008
Narrative Story
Ring! Ring! Ring! I gradually rolled over to reach my alarm clock and I slammed the off button. The alarm clock never does its job, but my quick glance at my un-packed bags gave me an urge to wake up. I stretched and bounced straight out of bed, not a single stumble. Today was a different day.It was already the last day of July and the following day was August 1st. For the month of August, it has been a tradition for my grandparents to rent out the same apartment in West Hampton. I was in shock that the last month of summer has arrived. Time flies by when your having fun, you know that saying? I never really cared for that saying but this summer was an excellent example of that. However all I could think about was what I was going to pack for the upcoming weekend in West Hampton. Even though I had the whole day to pack, the moment I woke up I rushed over to my closet. I swung open the door and ignored the ongoing sounds of my hanging beads that hit the door over and over again. Those sounds would normally irritate me but all the excitement built up inside of me distracted me. I went to my dresser and picked out clothes for the next two nights. Then I went into my bathroom and grabbed the basics: my toothbrush, straighter, makeup and face wash. My grandma earlier told me I could bring a friend for the weekend, so I called my friend Leanne. I invited her and she was thrilled to come.Of course, the next words she spoke were, “What should I bring to wear?”I simply replied, “Bathing suits, dresses and pants you know.”The conversation ended with when I said ill call her when my grandma and I are on our way to get her. I’ve bragged to Leanne many months before how much fun West Hampton will be and I just remember how glad I was that the day was finally here.The next morning at 7:00 am, we will pick up Leanne and then we will be going on our 45-minute road trip to our destination, West Hampton. When we arrive, we will carry our bags up to apartment number 82 where the key is laying under the mat. Every year I look forward to seeing our apartment, even though I know it’s the same one every time. It’s just the feeling I get knowing more memories will be created here. The door opens and I quickly show Leanne our room, we chuck our luggage, throw on our bathing suits and we rush to the beach. Since we woke up early, it was perfect we just rolled out our beach towels, read magazines and naped. When dinnertime arrived, we crossed the street back over to the apartment where we took showers and got ready to go eat in town. Margarita grill is a quick and tasty restaurant so Leanne, my grandma and I ate our food there. While eating our tacos, my grandma shared a frightening lightening and thundering story. She went on describing how there was a bad storm one day and these two teenager boys were under a tree and they were struck by lightening and were terribly injured. My grandma purposely shared with us that story because she heard there was a possible storm happening that night. Now that dinner was out of the way, Leanne and I were craving to meet new people. We were hopeful, just wishing for a good time because we know about the storm. Unfortunately the possible storm was definite. There was frowns on our faces, so we ended up heading back to the apartment early. We refused to end the night like that, so we thought we might as well have a good time with the rain. In the parking lot of my apartment, we danced with the rain! We kicked and jumped in the puddles, shouted and sang a lot and then called it a night. I read the note my grandma left on the kitchen table out loud to Leanne, “Honey I left for a run, there’s bagels in the refrigerator.” My stomach makes a familiar noise singling i'm hungry. Since we woke up around 11 am, we were in a hurry to eat quick and meet my family that were already down at the beach. Almost forgetting towels, we made it to the beach 30 minutes later. The sun was shining, our feet were burning in the sand and the waves were calm and clean. For these reasons, it made Leanne and I really want to float around in the water for hours. So we did just that for as long as we could. As time passed, the sun went down and it was time to rinse off our sandy bodies in the shower. When we were all showered and dressed up, Leanne and I went off by our selves for the night. We followed the curvy roads to town where we grabbed a bite to eat. Next as the bands in the side streets played their music, we walked around with big widened eyes looking for people to meet. At least the bands and the shops entertained us for a few hours because we had no luck with meeting new people. We would walk back and forth seeing the same people, just wishing to see new faces however realizing that wasn’t happening tonight. Leanne and I couldn’t make up our minds, to stay in town and wait longer or walk on the beach and take pictures. It was a mystery to even the both of us of which one we would end up doing.The mystery was over; we decided to walk to the beach. At this point, there was a full moon hanging high in the sky and stars floating around. It was late at night and past my curfew. We just breathed in the late summer air and tried to jump over the big puddles along the way. When we arrived to the beach, it was so dark besides the few glowing stars. It was different when we were walking along the road; there were at least cars with their lights on driving by. There were also no people around, I was feeling tense and a little nervous but Leanne comforted me and reassured me that everything was fine. We then climbed up the lifeguard chair and the view that existed made me for a lost of words besides “wow!” We were pretty high up so we overlooked the whole ocean, it was just beautiful how the dark, shadowed ocean looked with the horizon filled with shades of pick, yellow and orange. We would sit back and predict when a big wave was coming and watch it crash along the shore, leaving one of a kind rocks and shells on the beach. As we were thinking this view couldn’t possibly get any more magnificent, a bold strike of lightening appears over the ocean. Its sounds reminded me of fireworks and its appearance was so powerful. Every time it appeared I just couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Leanne and I felt so lucky, I remember thinking this all wasn’t real. As we just sat there so amazed, I see this long shadow walking towards us. I start panicking to Leanne…
“Leanne there’s someone behind us, I told you something like this was going to happen, I had a bad feeling when we first arrived!”
Leanne answers with authority. “Jackie just stay calm we will wait till he walks down the beach a little to leave.”
“No way! I’m leaving now!”
I didn’t let one second go by; I just jumped off and started walking away quickly. Leanne whispers…
“Jackie wait for me.”
When she catches up to me, we started to move our feet faster until we reached the boardwalk. When our feet touched the boardwalk, I caught my breath and felt like someone reached into my body and pulled out all the scared energy away from me. We walked away with big smiles.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
narrative 2
Ring! Ring! Ring! I gradually rolled over to reach my alarm clock and I slammed the off button. The alarm clock never does its job, but my quick glance at my packed bags gave me an urge to wake up. I stretched and bounced straight out of bed, not a single stumble. Today was a different day.
It was already the last day of July and the following day was August 1st. For the month of August, it has been a tradition for my grandparents to rent out the same apartment for family and friends to bond. I was in shock that the last month of summer has arrived. Time flies by when your having fun, you know that saying? I never really cared for that saying but this summer was an excellent example of that. However all I could think about was what I was going to pack for the upcoming weekend in West Hampton. Even though I had the whole day to pack, the moment I woke up I rushed over to my closet. I swung open the door and ignored the ongoing sounds of my hanging beads that hit the door over and over again. Those sounds would normally irritate me but all the excitement built up inside of me distracted me. First I grabbed my usual sleepover bag, went into my dresser and packed the clothes I needed for 2 nights. Then I went into my bathroom and grabbed the basics: my toothbrush, straighter, makeup and face wash. My grandma earlier told me I could bring a friend for the weekend, so I called my friend Leanne. I invited her and she was thrilled to come.
Of course, the next words she spoke were, “What should I bring to wear?”
I simply replied, “Bathing suits, dresses and pants you know.”
The conversation ended with when I said ill call her when my grandma and I are on our way to get her. I’ve bragged to Leanne many months before how much fun West Hampton will be and I just remember how glad I was that the day was finally here.
The next morning at 7:00 am, we will pick up Leanne and then we will be going on our 45-minute road trip to our destination, West Hampton. When we arrive, we will carry our bags up to apartment number 82 where the key is laying under the mat. Every year I look forward to seeing our apartment, even though I know it’s the same one every time. It’s just the feeling I get knowing more memories will be created here. The door opens and I quickly show Leanne our room, we chuck our luggage, throw on our bathing suits and we will rush to the beach. Since we will be waking up early, it is perfect we will just lie down on our beach towels, read magazines and nap. When dinnertime arrives, we will cross the street back over to the apartment where we will take showers and get ready to go to eat in town. Margarita grill is a quick and tasty restaurant so Leanne, my grandma and I will eat our food there. While eating our tacos, my grandma will possibly share a frightening lightening and thundering story. She will go on describing how there was a bad storm one day and these two teenager boys were under a tree and they were struck by lightening and were terribly injured. Knowing my grandma she will purposely share with us that story because she heard there was a possible storm happening that night. Now that dinner will be out of the way, Leanne and I were craving to meet new people. We are hopeful, just wishing for a good time because we know about the storm. Unfortunately the possible storm is pretty much now definite. There will be frowns on our faces, so we will end up heading back to the apartment early. We will refuse to end the night like that, so we will think we might as well have a good time with the rain. In the parking lot of my apartment, we will dance with the rain! We will kick and jump in the puddles, shout and sing a lot and then call it a night.
Jackie reads the note her grandma left her on the kitchen table out loud to Leanne, “Honey I left for a run, there’s bagels in the refrigerator.” Jackie’s stomach makes a familiar noise singling she’s hungry. Since the girls woke up around 11 am, they were in a hurry to eat quick and meet Jackie’s family that were already down at the beach. Almost forgetting towels, they made it to the beach 30 minutes later. The sun was shining, their feet were burning in the sand and the waves were calm and clean. For these reasons, it made Jackie and Leanne really want to float around in the water for hours. So they did just that for as long as they could. As time passed, the sun went down and it was time for the girls to rinse off their sandy bodies in the shower. When they were all showered and dressed up, Leanne and Jackie went off by their selves for the night. They followed the curvy roads to town where they grabbed a bite to eat. Knowing Jackie and Leanne they barely ate, their not a fan of spending money on food. Next as the bands in the side streets played their music, they walked around with big widened eyes looking for people to meet. At least the bands and the shops entertained the girls for a few hours because they had no luck with meeting new people. They would walk back and forth seeing the same people, just wishing to see new faces however realizing that wasn’t happening tonight. Jackie and Leanne couldn’t make up their minds, to stay in town and wait longer or walk on the beach and take pictures. It was a mystery to even both of them of which one they would end up doing.The mystery was over; we decided to walk to the beach. At this point, there was a full moon hanging high in the sky and stars floating around. It was late at night and past my curfew. We just breathed in the late summer air and tried to jump over the big puddles along the way. When we arrived to the beach, it was so dark besides the few glowing stars. It was different when we were walking along the road; there were at least cars with their lights on driving by. There were also no people around, I was feeling tense and a little nervous but Leanne comforted me and reassured me that everything was fine. We then climbed up the lifeguard chair and the view that existed made me for a lost of words besides “wow!” We were pretty high up so we overlooked the whole ocean, it was just beautiful how the dark, shadowed ocean looked with the horizon filled with shades of pick, yellow and orange. We would sit back and predict when a big wave was coming and watch it crash along the shore, leaving one of a kind rocks and shells on the beach. As we were thinking this view couldn’t possibly get any more magnificent, a bold strike of lightening appears over the ocean. Its sounds reminded me of fireworks and its appearance was so powerful. Every time it appeared I just couldn’t take my eyes off of it.
It was already the last day of July and the following day was August 1st. For the month of August, it has been a tradition for my grandparents to rent out the same apartment for family and friends to bond. I was in shock that the last month of summer has arrived. Time flies by when your having fun, you know that saying? I never really cared for that saying but this summer was an excellent example of that. However all I could think about was what I was going to pack for the upcoming weekend in West Hampton. Even though I had the whole day to pack, the moment I woke up I rushed over to my closet. I swung open the door and ignored the ongoing sounds of my hanging beads that hit the door over and over again. Those sounds would normally irritate me but all the excitement built up inside of me distracted me. First I grabbed my usual sleepover bag, went into my dresser and packed the clothes I needed for 2 nights. Then I went into my bathroom and grabbed the basics: my toothbrush, straighter, makeup and face wash. My grandma earlier told me I could bring a friend for the weekend, so I called my friend Leanne. I invited her and she was thrilled to come.
Of course, the next words she spoke were, “What should I bring to wear?”
I simply replied, “Bathing suits, dresses and pants you know.”
The conversation ended with when I said ill call her when my grandma and I are on our way to get her. I’ve bragged to Leanne many months before how much fun West Hampton will be and I just remember how glad I was that the day was finally here.
The next morning at 7:00 am, we will pick up Leanne and then we will be going on our 45-minute road trip to our destination, West Hampton. When we arrive, we will carry our bags up to apartment number 82 where the key is laying under the mat. Every year I look forward to seeing our apartment, even though I know it’s the same one every time. It’s just the feeling I get knowing more memories will be created here. The door opens and I quickly show Leanne our room, we chuck our luggage, throw on our bathing suits and we will rush to the beach. Since we will be waking up early, it is perfect we will just lie down on our beach towels, read magazines and nap. When dinnertime arrives, we will cross the street back over to the apartment where we will take showers and get ready to go to eat in town. Margarita grill is a quick and tasty restaurant so Leanne, my grandma and I will eat our food there. While eating our tacos, my grandma will possibly share a frightening lightening and thundering story. She will go on describing how there was a bad storm one day and these two teenager boys were under a tree and they were struck by lightening and were terribly injured. Knowing my grandma she will purposely share with us that story because she heard there was a possible storm happening that night. Now that dinner will be out of the way, Leanne and I were craving to meet new people. We are hopeful, just wishing for a good time because we know about the storm. Unfortunately the possible storm is pretty much now definite. There will be frowns on our faces, so we will end up heading back to the apartment early. We will refuse to end the night like that, so we will think we might as well have a good time with the rain. In the parking lot of my apartment, we will dance with the rain! We will kick and jump in the puddles, shout and sing a lot and then call it a night.
Jackie reads the note her grandma left her on the kitchen table out loud to Leanne, “Honey I left for a run, there’s bagels in the refrigerator.” Jackie’s stomach makes a familiar noise singling she’s hungry. Since the girls woke up around 11 am, they were in a hurry to eat quick and meet Jackie’s family that were already down at the beach. Almost forgetting towels, they made it to the beach 30 minutes later. The sun was shining, their feet were burning in the sand and the waves were calm and clean. For these reasons, it made Jackie and Leanne really want to float around in the water for hours. So they did just that for as long as they could. As time passed, the sun went down and it was time for the girls to rinse off their sandy bodies in the shower. When they were all showered and dressed up, Leanne and Jackie went off by their selves for the night. They followed the curvy roads to town where they grabbed a bite to eat. Knowing Jackie and Leanne they barely ate, their not a fan of spending money on food. Next as the bands in the side streets played their music, they walked around with big widened eyes looking for people to meet. At least the bands and the shops entertained the girls for a few hours because they had no luck with meeting new people. They would walk back and forth seeing the same people, just wishing to see new faces however realizing that wasn’t happening tonight. Jackie and Leanne couldn’t make up their minds, to stay in town and wait longer or walk on the beach and take pictures. It was a mystery to even both of them of which one they would end up doing.The mystery was over; we decided to walk to the beach. At this point, there was a full moon hanging high in the sky and stars floating around. It was late at night and past my curfew. We just breathed in the late summer air and tried to jump over the big puddles along the way. When we arrived to the beach, it was so dark besides the few glowing stars. It was different when we were walking along the road; there were at least cars with their lights on driving by. There were also no people around, I was feeling tense and a little nervous but Leanne comforted me and reassured me that everything was fine. We then climbed up the lifeguard chair and the view that existed made me for a lost of words besides “wow!” We were pretty high up so we overlooked the whole ocean, it was just beautiful how the dark, shadowed ocean looked with the horizon filled with shades of pick, yellow and orange. We would sit back and predict when a big wave was coming and watch it crash along the shore, leaving one of a kind rocks and shells on the beach. As we were thinking this view couldn’t possibly get any more magnificent, a bold strike of lightening appears over the ocean. Its sounds reminded me of fireworks and its appearance was so powerful. Every time it appeared I just couldn’t take my eyes off of it.
Openings
Two narrative openings
1) Dialogue-
“Hey its grandma, guess what today is? First day of Hampton Fun!”
I answered with such a surprised tone of voice even though I knew what today was, “Really! Wow it came so quick, this is exciting!”
2) Setting- Ring! Ring! Ring! I gradually rolled over to reach my alarm clock and I slammed the off button. The alarm clock never does its job, but my quick glance at my packed bags gave me an urge to wake up. I stretched, and stood straight up, not a single stumble like I’ve been up for hours. Today was a different day.
1) Dialogue-
“Hey its grandma, guess what today is? First day of Hampton Fun!”
I answered with such a surprised tone of voice even though I knew what today was, “Really! Wow it came so quick, this is exciting!”
2) Setting- Ring! Ring! Ring! I gradually rolled over to reach my alarm clock and I slammed the off button. The alarm clock never does its job, but my quick glance at my packed bags gave me an urge to wake up. I stretched, and stood straight up, not a single stumble like I’ve been up for hours. Today was a different day.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
personal narrative draft
Time flies by when your having fun, you know that saying? I never really cared for that saying but this summer was an excellent example of that. It was already the last day of July and the following day was August 1st. For the month of August, it has been a tradition for my grandparents to rent out the same apartment for family and friends to bond. I was in shock that the last month of summer has arrived; however all I could think about was what I was going to pack for the upcoming weekend in West Hampton. Even though I had the whole day to pack, the moment I woke up I rushed over to my closet. I swung open the door and ignored the ongoing sounds of my hanging beads that hit the door over and over again. Those sounds would normally irritate me but I had so much excitement built up inside of me, I just wanted to pack everything. First I grabbed my usual sleepover bag, went into my dresser and packed the clothes I needed for 2 nights. Then I went into my bathroom and grabbed the basics: my toothbrush, straighter, makeup and face wash. My grandma earlier told me I could bring a friend for the weekend, so I called my friend Leanne. I invited her and she was thrilled to come.
Of course, the next words she spoke were, “What should I bring to wear?”
I simply replied, “Bathing suits, dresses and pants you know.” The conversation ended with when I said ill call her when my grandma and I are on our way to get her. I’ve bragged to Leanne many months before how much fun West Hampton will be and I just remember how glad I was that the day was finally here. The next morning at 7:00 am, we picked up Leanne and were off to our 45-minute road trip to our destination, West Hampton. When we arrived, we carried our bags up to apartment number 82 where the key was laying under the mat. Every year I look forward to seeing our apartment, even though I know it’s the same one every time. It’s just the feeling I get knowing more memories will be created here. The door opens and I quickly show Leanne our room, we jug our luggage, throw on our bathing suit and were off to the beach. Since we woke up early, it was perfect we would just lie on our beach towels, read magazines and nap. As dinnertime arrived, we crossed the street back over to the apartment where we would take showers and get ready to go to eat in town. Margarita grill is a quick and tasty restaurant so Leanne, my grandma and I ate our food there. While eating our tacos, my grandma shares a frightening lightening and thundering story. She goes on describing how there was a bad storm one day and these two teenager boys were under a tree and they were struck by lightening and were terribly injured. Knowing my grandma she purposely shared with us that story because she heard there was a possible storm happening that night. Now that dinner was out of the way, Leanne and I were craving to meet new people. We were hopeful, just wishing for a good time because we knew about the storm. Unfortunately the possible storm came true, it was awful. With frowns on our faces, we headed back to the apartment early. We didn’t want to end the night like this, so we thought we might as well have a good time with the rain. In the parking lot of my apartment, we danced! We kicked and jumped in the puddle, screamed and sang a lot and called it a night.
Of course, the next words she spoke were, “What should I bring to wear?”
I simply replied, “Bathing suits, dresses and pants you know.” The conversation ended with when I said ill call her when my grandma and I are on our way to get her. I’ve bragged to Leanne many months before how much fun West Hampton will be and I just remember how glad I was that the day was finally here. The next morning at 7:00 am, we picked up Leanne and were off to our 45-minute road trip to our destination, West Hampton. When we arrived, we carried our bags up to apartment number 82 where the key was laying under the mat. Every year I look forward to seeing our apartment, even though I know it’s the same one every time. It’s just the feeling I get knowing more memories will be created here. The door opens and I quickly show Leanne our room, we jug our luggage, throw on our bathing suit and were off to the beach. Since we woke up early, it was perfect we would just lie on our beach towels, read magazines and nap. As dinnertime arrived, we crossed the street back over to the apartment where we would take showers and get ready to go to eat in town. Margarita grill is a quick and tasty restaurant so Leanne, my grandma and I ate our food there. While eating our tacos, my grandma shares a frightening lightening and thundering story. She goes on describing how there was a bad storm one day and these two teenager boys were under a tree and they were struck by lightening and were terribly injured. Knowing my grandma she purposely shared with us that story because she heard there was a possible storm happening that night. Now that dinner was out of the way, Leanne and I were craving to meet new people. We were hopeful, just wishing for a good time because we knew about the storm. Unfortunately the possible storm came true, it was awful. With frowns on our faces, we headed back to the apartment early. We didn’t want to end the night like this, so we thought we might as well have a good time with the rain. In the parking lot of my apartment, we danced! We kicked and jumped in the puddle, screamed and sang a lot and called it a night.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
brief narrative
characters-leanne, mom, stranger and dog at the beach, aunt michelle, aunt kim, grandma
setting- went hampton, beach, town
conflict- there was a bad storm and it affected leanne and my time in west hampton
climax-beach at night time sitting on the lifeguard chair watching the lightening strike over the ocean seeing a shadow of a man and dog behind us getting scared and running away
plot-eating dinner at margarita grill with leannne and grandma, grandma telling us about a frightening lightening story, thundering, lightening and a downpour of rain comes, grandma forces us to go back to the house, we play in the rain, go to the beach the next day, go into town, go to the beach at night, see shadow, run.
setting- went hampton, beach, town
conflict- there was a bad storm and it affected leanne and my time in west hampton
climax-beach at night time sitting on the lifeguard chair watching the lightening strike over the ocean seeing a shadow of a man and dog behind us getting scared and running away
plot-eating dinner at margarita grill with leannne and grandma, grandma telling us about a frightening lightening story, thundering, lightening and a downpour of rain comes, grandma forces us to go back to the house, we play in the rain, go to the beach the next day, go into town, go to the beach at night, see shadow, run.
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